The Goodbye

by Heather

Easter Monday 2015 we are saying goodbye at Southern Cross bus Station, Melbourne. I’m about to return to Tullamarine Airport to return to Adelaide. My home. The boys now men of 27 and 30 are with me and their respective girlfriends. The five of us say goodbye. It is a series of hugs and kisses and the word goodbye repeated over. I’m in a funny space it’s hard to describe. I feel like I’m leaving them there together for the first time which I am in fact. Deserting them.

This leaving began in 2013 when Andrew headed for Melbourne and a new work opportunity where he met Jessica and they have since bought an expensive apartment on the 6th floor of a modern building on Bridge Road at Richmond.

Cam’s leaving, well his recent leaving was only 3 weeks prior to Easter. Romina and Cam decided Melbourne may offer better work prospects than Adelaide, both being creative they sought broader opportunities.

My goodbyes for them leaving had been put on hold and gone unnoticed while all the recent commotion occurred. Cam had left the converted bake house studio in Adelaide quite untidy and less clean than respectable. I with professional cleaner ex-husband in toe took to sprucing it up as requested by the next occupant. Windowsills and light switches wiped, bath double dose cleaned. Toilet, best not to mention but much improved.

Now I step onto the bus of red and yellow. Case lifted for me by number 1 son and I take my seat. As the bus reverses I see the 4 of them waving goodbye and the tears prick my eyes and tumble down my cheeks. I’m leaving them to start their own lives, a new chapter for all of us collectively. A sadness of not having them nearby anymore, no longer 20 minutes by car. Now an hour’s flight and the travel and the prep time either side of that increases the distance.

I watch out the window as the tall city buildings recede behind me and a myriad of thoughts bounce about my head, alone, will I be missing out on details? In fact the opposite has happened. The text and phone calls come with delightful detail of significant events rather than strained conversations in the past. Cam has an interview and wants to tell me all about the job the other side of town 90 minutes travel time required. And then another text to say he has it and starts on Wednesday. Another call with details of the first day at work. It’s not goodbye, its hello again.